This may draw some serious fire, BUT... sometimes I am forced to think of the many ailments that seem to afflict either myself, a family member, or a close friend. These are things that are awful and not much fun...thyroid problems, eye problems, knee and joint aches and pains and so on and so forth. Of all the problems we all seem to be afflicted with, it would appear fair to me that we should be able to at least pick one ailment with which we could trade or try out and if we like it better we could keep it. We should be able (in an ideal world) to say, "you know, a cold won't really work for me this week because I have a week long church event and while typically we are forced to bow our heads while in prayer (which, by the way, adds insult to injury if we think rationally about the times we are most likely to cry...ie..a funeral during prayers) which will cause my nose to run even more and I would like to trade that for laryngitis which will make people quit talking to me and therefore limit me from talking back." We could be handed a receipt for and exchange or something and somewhere else in the world a very happy person could trade their laryngitis for our cold.
Why does this matter , well because I have a laundry list of ailments that just plain bug!
Knee pain I would trade for turrets...How awesome to be able to shout and curse and have an iron clad excuse...and yes, I think it is only fair to exaggerate any given illness in the company of those who have been living in a way that clearly deserve what's comin at em.
Ulcer I would trade for narcolepsy...I am sorry, but what a fascinating disease! I know it sounds lighthearted, but I am clearly not coming from a light-hearted place. I find myself currently in some very long and exhausting meetings. What if in the middle I go limp and my head hits the desk with a resounding, "plunk" and I'm done. How could I ask for more. (Exaggeration also to get across a point of sheer boredom, but one would never know..this could be used any number of places
1. phone calls that last too long that you can't seem to get free from
2. Anyone trying to sell you something
3. Meetings
4. Church
5. While waiting in traffic (your head could land on the horn)
6. clogging...ok, now that was just for fun..because...seriously.. a hilarious picture in my head
you get my point.
I know people with these diseases would think it unfair and berate me for not thinking how devastating it is to be stared at and judged as a person who is clearly crazy...well, let me tell you....they look at me like that anyway! :)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Oh Happy Day!
I am such an easy girl to keep happy. Today Shem and Angelo worked on our backyard fence. Bless Angelo for showing up at 7:00am and working his little tail off with my honey and getting sooo much accomplished. I fixed them breakfast, snacks, and kept the water coming until they were ready to stop. As if this hard working husband isn't enough, I took my two girls and myself out for a pedicure (well technically, they just got paint but still). Talk about a great day!!!
BUT..
When I get there they ask, "Massage?"
I nod yes knowing she will walk beside me and turn on the vibrating chair but OMGosh! Immediately I felt what can only decently be described as being lifted out of what I have now decided is the Cadillac or wrecking ball of massage chairs (I'm thinking Maximum Overdrive..remember that show), by a very large rock, dead center in my BUM. I look over frantically to try and find the seat button to stop this madness as I feel it slowly start to move. I can't find it and it doesn't matter because all at once I feel myself pounded right on my upper left shoulder, now right, now left, now right...I literally look like I'm doing a very inappropriate dance in a chair. Is this training school for pole dancers or strippers??? I am jiggling (boy how I hate that word) all over. By then I am open mouth laughing so hard that I am sadly drawing the attention of the 5 people in this very small business. They look over glancing at first and then with crinkled foreheads and half hidden smiles and I'm sure they're wondering why even this girls neck is looking like a Thanksgiving Day turkey's. I am not kidding..this was the jackhammer of all massage chairs.
I will not let the goofy chair wreck my perfect day even though I am home and still feeling the broken tailbone chair mishap.
Well, I better go. Where did I put that post-partum pillow anyway?
BUT..
When I get there they ask, "Massage?"
I nod yes knowing she will walk beside me and turn on the vibrating chair but OMGosh! Immediately I felt what can only decently be described as being lifted out of what I have now decided is the Cadillac or wrecking ball of massage chairs (I'm thinking Maximum Overdrive..remember that show), by a very large rock, dead center in my BUM. I look over frantically to try and find the seat button to stop this madness as I feel it slowly start to move. I can't find it and it doesn't matter because all at once I feel myself pounded right on my upper left shoulder, now right, now left, now right...I literally look like I'm doing a very inappropriate dance in a chair. Is this training school for pole dancers or strippers??? I am jiggling (boy how I hate that word) all over. By then I am open mouth laughing so hard that I am sadly drawing the attention of the 5 people in this very small business. They look over glancing at first and then with crinkled foreheads and half hidden smiles and I'm sure they're wondering why even this girls neck is looking like a Thanksgiving Day turkey's. I am not kidding..this was the jackhammer of all massage chairs.
I will not let the goofy chair wreck my perfect day even though I am home and still feeling the broken tailbone chair mishap.
Well, I better go. Where did I put that post-partum pillow anyway?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Murphy's Law
We had an excellent idea for the weekend. Shem was starting his new job Monday morning and needed to be about 3 hours away by 8am.
Enter Kasi's idea....
We drive up as a family the night before, (even the dog!) get a hotel room, spend the night swimming with the kids (since they didn't have school Monday), and really celebrate this long awaited miracle.
Everything goes as planned and we all hop into the car Sunday morning. We begin the drive up and everything is going well. Did you know that sometimes dogs have motion sickness??! Well, they do, and it's not pretty. Landon is covered in chunky dog food and we decide to stop and buy him new clothes. Done. Back on track.
Lesson #1.. Do not feed or water the dog before getting in the car.
We arrive at our pet friendly hotel minutes away from where Shem has been instructed to meet in the morning and the festivities begin. We grab lunch and head back to the hotel for marathon swimming. My kids are in heaven and are so cute. We only break for dinner and head back down for more swimming. It was awesome. Upon getting back upstairs when the hotel pool shuts down Landon starts grabbing his stomach and before long we hear the tell tale sounds of some serious stomach work. It was awful. He threw up most of the night and into the morning, but Shem is up and off to meet his new boss for his first day. I continue to try and put together our night and pack up for the drive home. Meanwhile the dog is ticked without food and Landon is still um...indisposed.
Knock on the door..it's Shem! He can't find his boss and only after trying A LOT his boss finally picked up the phone and realized he had told Shem to meet him at a different hotel than he was at...An hour away!! What the....
Shem helps me load up and after more waiting and throw up we take Shem back to his meeting and leave town. I am holding my breath as we drive down the interstate wondering who will throw up first. The dog wants to , I can tell, but thanks to no food or water just ends up slobbering a lot. Landon slept most of the way and about 2 miles from the house I relax and even turn on some music to celebrate my safe return....Then I hear a sound like water running through a hose after it's been off all summer long. You know, the start stopping and spasming of the hose ....that would be Hailey throwing up all over my back seat. You ever notice how vomit smells a lot like Parmesan cheese? Remember that next time you pour it on your slice of pepperoni. Well 2 miles is a long way to smell that.
Looks like their break from school is going to last another day and the next morning is an even better experience as I go to get baby from her crib only to find her covered in diarrhea. I lay down a towel on the floor and carefully undress her. I start a bath and hear her gag. I try to grab her as she starts flopping like a fish and do you know it is HARD to hold onto a kid covered in slime while they thrash around. She has never thrown up before and so did not even want to deal with it.
All seems better today and I just can't say how glad I am we decided to celebrate!
Enter Kasi's idea....
We drive up as a family the night before, (even the dog!) get a hotel room, spend the night swimming with the kids (since they didn't have school Monday), and really celebrate this long awaited miracle.
Everything goes as planned and we all hop into the car Sunday morning. We begin the drive up and everything is going well. Did you know that sometimes dogs have motion sickness??! Well, they do, and it's not pretty. Landon is covered in chunky dog food and we decide to stop and buy him new clothes. Done. Back on track.
Lesson #1.. Do not feed or water the dog before getting in the car.
We arrive at our pet friendly hotel minutes away from where Shem has been instructed to meet in the morning and the festivities begin. We grab lunch and head back to the hotel for marathon swimming. My kids are in heaven and are so cute. We only break for dinner and head back down for more swimming. It was awesome. Upon getting back upstairs when the hotel pool shuts down Landon starts grabbing his stomach and before long we hear the tell tale sounds of some serious stomach work. It was awful. He threw up most of the night and into the morning, but Shem is up and off to meet his new boss for his first day. I continue to try and put together our night and pack up for the drive home. Meanwhile the dog is ticked without food and Landon is still um...indisposed.
Knock on the door..it's Shem! He can't find his boss and only after trying A LOT his boss finally picked up the phone and realized he had told Shem to meet him at a different hotel than he was at...An hour away!! What the....
Shem helps me load up and after more waiting and throw up we take Shem back to his meeting and leave town. I am holding my breath as we drive down the interstate wondering who will throw up first. The dog wants to , I can tell, but thanks to no food or water just ends up slobbering a lot. Landon slept most of the way and about 2 miles from the house I relax and even turn on some music to celebrate my safe return....Then I hear a sound like water running through a hose after it's been off all summer long. You know, the start stopping and spasming of the hose ....that would be Hailey throwing up all over my back seat. You ever notice how vomit smells a lot like Parmesan cheese? Remember that next time you pour it on your slice of pepperoni. Well 2 miles is a long way to smell that.
Looks like their break from school is going to last another day and the next morning is an even better experience as I go to get baby from her crib only to find her covered in diarrhea. I lay down a towel on the floor and carefully undress her. I start a bath and hear her gag. I try to grab her as she starts flopping like a fish and do you know it is HARD to hold onto a kid covered in slime while they thrash around. She has never thrown up before and so did not even want to deal with it.
All seems better today and I just can't say how glad I am we decided to celebrate!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Technology Idiots
I have to say that here lately I feel as a world community I think we are losing more brain cells than we are gaining. Here's why
Then...
I remember being younger and I had memorized each of my friends phone numbers. I could call both grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, cell phones and still have all emergency phone numbers all stored in my brain and I'm not talking about 911.
Now...
Heaven forbid my cell phone loses your number or you haven't called me recently enough to be on my call back list. If you're not in my phonebook on my phone I will have no way to get in touch with you. I don't know my own brothers phone number, and if it weren't for 911 we would have real reason to worry.
Then...
I remember finding houses by landmarks and house numbers. I could find anyone by a simple, "turn at the second yellow doghouse on the left and go until the park on the right." I would make mental notes of how to get to and from on the first trip.
Now....
GPS. I lose signal I will call someone (in my phonebook) to google directions.
Then....
I used to love writing (and receiving) letters. I could spend hours writing to friends, cousins and grandparents galore. I loved the feeling of pen in hand and crisp white paper. Nothing was better than putting a thick wad of folded paper into a clean envelope and dropping it at the post office.
Now...
I recenlty tried to write a letter to a great-aunt who has trouble hearing. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her to open a good old-fashioned letter. However, as I sat down, I realized how hard it was after texting. My letter began....
Dear...............,
How r u? Wld like 2 talk 2 u but thought this wld be better. Wld luv 2 c u more often but can't drive that fast...lol.
I had to literally remember how to spell because this sweet woman is in her 90's and I don't think she'd appreciate shorthand.
Challenge:
Try to call someone this week by actually dialing their number
Write someone a letter (and send it)
And here's a kick.....leave the house without your.....cell phone....eeeek!
We will turn around to get that phone even though I didn't even have my first cell until after I was married and it was a "emergency only" thing. Now I break out in a cold sweat if I realize my phone is not soundly in my ...um...pocket.
I'm going to try these things myself to try and restore my unused brain cells.
Let me know how it goes 4 u!!
Then...
I remember being younger and I had memorized each of my friends phone numbers. I could call both grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, cell phones and still have all emergency phone numbers all stored in my brain and I'm not talking about 911.
Now...
Heaven forbid my cell phone loses your number or you haven't called me recently enough to be on my call back list. If you're not in my phonebook on my phone I will have no way to get in touch with you. I don't know my own brothers phone number, and if it weren't for 911 we would have real reason to worry.
Then...
I remember finding houses by landmarks and house numbers. I could find anyone by a simple, "turn at the second yellow doghouse on the left and go until the park on the right." I would make mental notes of how to get to and from on the first trip.
Now....
GPS. I lose signal I will call someone (in my phonebook) to google directions.
Then....
I used to love writing (and receiving) letters. I could spend hours writing to friends, cousins and grandparents galore. I loved the feeling of pen in hand and crisp white paper. Nothing was better than putting a thick wad of folded paper into a clean envelope and dropping it at the post office.
Now...
I recenlty tried to write a letter to a great-aunt who has trouble hearing. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her to open a good old-fashioned letter. However, as I sat down, I realized how hard it was after texting. My letter began....
Dear...............,
How r u? Wld like 2 talk 2 u but thought this wld be better. Wld luv 2 c u more often but can't drive that fast...lol.
I had to literally remember how to spell because this sweet woman is in her 90's and I don't think she'd appreciate shorthand.
Challenge:
Try to call someone this week by actually dialing their number
Write someone a letter (and send it)
And here's a kick.....leave the house without your.....cell phone....eeeek!
We will turn around to get that phone even though I didn't even have my first cell until after I was married and it was a "emergency only" thing. Now I break out in a cold sweat if I realize my phone is not soundly in my ...um...pocket.
I'm going to try these things myself to try and restore my unused brain cells.
Let me know how it goes 4 u!!
Ire-toon
Ireland is the smartest baby ever. She is the most social girl I've ever seen and is constantly waving and saying "Hi" to everyone she sees and will not stop until they've properly acknowledged her. She loves books more than life and will color non-stop for about 45 minutes at a time. I've never seen a baby hold attention that long for just one activity. She doesn't do it for anything else except maybe "Coo Coos" which translates to Blues Clues, her favorite little show. So this being my online journal, I have to write these things down for my own benefit since the memory with 4 gets a little crowded. Today we were watching, "So you think you can dance" on TV (because I think it's funny to watch her try to copy all the moves) after one person finished dancing she says, "Amazing!" I just looked at her a little amazed myself.
She also has quite a way of getting your attention. If you are not "properly" listening to her, she will grab your face with both of her hands and turn your head to look at her. Today after lunch and books, I picked her up to carry her downstairs during which I kicked the vacuum cleaner and said, "Oh" She grabs my face and looks concerned while she says, "You Ok?" What a stinking cutie.
She speaks in full sentences, has rhythm like you've never seen, and is my little buddy all day long. I love it. 19 month miracle
Update..Last night we were watching a movie that had an opera singer belting in the background. Ireland comes running and yelling, "Figaro...., Fiiiiii Gaaaaaa Ro." Where does she get this stuff.
She also has three words that when used in conjuction you know she is in absolute heaven. It happens if she really thinks something she is eating is tasty. After a bite, "Mmmmm, ummmmy, good." What a crack up!
She also has quite a way of getting your attention. If you are not "properly" listening to her, she will grab your face with both of her hands and turn your head to look at her. Today after lunch and books, I picked her up to carry her downstairs during which I kicked the vacuum cleaner and said, "Oh" She grabs my face and looks concerned while she says, "You Ok?" What a stinking cutie.
She speaks in full sentences, has rhythm like you've never seen, and is my little buddy all day long. I love it. 19 month miracle
Update..Last night we were watching a movie that had an opera singer belting in the background. Ireland comes running and yelling, "Figaro...., Fiiiiii Gaaaaaa Ro." Where does she get this stuff.
She also has three words that when used in conjuction you know she is in absolute heaven. It happens if she really thinks something she is eating is tasty. After a bite, "Mmmmm, ummmmy, good." What a crack up!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sleep Ireland
So baby is speaking in sentences now. Last week we were reading together (one of her favorite pasttimes) and we finish. This is always followed with, "again", so I say, "are you ready?" She nods her head yes, but when I pick up the book she pulls it away from me and says, "No, I read it." 18 months and scaring me to death with her progress. Talk about trying to keep up with siblings. What's really funny is what slackers Shem and I have turned into with baby 4. With all three of our others, at 1 year old there were no punches pulled. Bottles were packed away, pacifiers put in drawers, naptime and bedtime were on your own with a crazy determination to not break. Fast Forward... This baby drinks from sippy, but a bottle isn't unwarranted, she does not have a pacifier (because she likes her thumb), and right now at bedtime she has yelled for every member of our family. We are really trying to get her to sleep on her own at bedtime and she is up there yelling, "DAAAAAD, MOM!" "AB-BY", and my favorite, "GET BABY!" I am sitting at the bottom of the stairs with Shem determined not to break so I decided to come and blog. AH, see there, crying is stopping ....it's quiet....ah @#!$$@ where's Shem?
Friday, September 25, 2009
My hero
Okay, so a lot has happened that I have failed to post about....Yet. However, my son is always blogworthy. Wednesday was our blue and gold banquet at which time this awesome little man earned all but one pin in Webelos. I am not sure, but I think there are something like 22 possible and he earned 21 PLUS his arrow of light. He will be moving into regular scouts very soon and we are so proud of him. The only pin he hasn't yet earned is his scientist pin and for that he has to read Newton's law of motion, Pascals' something or other and the list just keeps going. I was so proud and told his leader that it was awesome he had done so much (thank you dad, church, scout camp, school...and the list goes on). She shook her head and said, "guess it looks like we'll all be earning our scientist now so he can have all his pins, maybe we'll do it this week." What an awesome leader!
How thankful I am for her.
How thankful I am for her.
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