Ireland with a friends cat and with our puppy who is now taller than she is. Hey, at least I got two up!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Somethings Gotta Give!
Ready for way personal...See, I know how to drag you back in whether you want to read or not. I think today I'll share my insight with the world (HA!), in a no holds barred sort of way. You ready???
Ok, well recently I've had kind of a real relationship with another....place. Dr.'s Offices. We all know the jokes about the waiting, the rude receptionist, the bubble head receptionist, the phone calls where you think you swear you're gonna die and they say , "UGH, can you hold"? I picture that said with one raised eyebrow and a sole finger scratching a wigged head. There is a reason for this..One time I was thrown from a horse into a metal fence. My head was split down to the skull...I was pouring blood, was carried in, and the lady looked at me, went green and while stuttering asked if I could have a seat in the waiting room. Meanwhile some guy with a brain pushed me into the back onto the nearest table. Whew...Then he asked...."When was your last menstrual period?'" What the....!!!
Well, in my world I struggle with such different things that I'm not sure are normal.
You know when you go in because you think you have...oh, say broken a toe. Well, if you're a woman, they have one of two requests of you... can you guess?
1. When was your last menstrual cycle? OR...
2. We'll need a urine sample.
Now while you're trying to explain that while you're uterus is very important, it's a TOE! I don't get it. Then comes the next request....
"Undress from the waist down, "
Or if you're really lucky,
"Ok, if you could please remove all your clothes...including your bra."
Now I guess most problems must be solved by the normal woman's menstrual cycle obviously including but not limited to:
Colds
Flus
Broken Bones
World Hunger and the like
I missed that day in school and I am MAD! If only I had known sooner!!
Well, again, I have grown so very tired of this and so I find myself being very inappropriate every time I have to go in for some very serious things and heaven help me if they are not serious.
While filling out a questionnaire it says, Name:_____________
What do you prefer to be called Name:_____________
I know all of the reasons for this, but seriously, it's the DR.'s Call me back is what I want, but still I manage to write "starfish" on every one.
If you do have to undress, what do we do? Undress very carefully, fold our clothes like they are being inspected by the Queen, and try to hide our underwear. Well, if you are like me, my bras are IMPOSSIBLE to hide. It looks like I've hidden a small animal in my purse or something.
How about when they ask
Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Soda?
Do you smoke?
Drink?
Hard Drugs?
Well, when they ask in that order, I have to answer yes to the last one and explain the others are just to bad for ya. Wanna try them in the other order, pal? They inevitably look up stunned while I nod and then sort of smile and I see the real concern..not for my health, but why I would ever question their methods. Well, I have plans for my next unanticipated visit, but until then, I know some of ya have been wanting some pictures sooo....Shoot, still can't get them up...they're coming.
Ok, well recently I've had kind of a real relationship with another....place. Dr.'s Offices. We all know the jokes about the waiting, the rude receptionist, the bubble head receptionist, the phone calls where you think you swear you're gonna die and they say , "UGH, can you hold"? I picture that said with one raised eyebrow and a sole finger scratching a wigged head. There is a reason for this..One time I was thrown from a horse into a metal fence. My head was split down to the skull...I was pouring blood, was carried in, and the lady looked at me, went green and while stuttering asked if I could have a seat in the waiting room. Meanwhile some guy with a brain pushed me into the back onto the nearest table. Whew...Then he asked...."When was your last menstrual period?'" What the....!!!
Well, in my world I struggle with such different things that I'm not sure are normal.
You know when you go in because you think you have...oh, say broken a toe. Well, if you're a woman, they have one of two requests of you... can you guess?
1. When was your last menstrual cycle? OR...
2. We'll need a urine sample.
Now while you're trying to explain that while you're uterus is very important, it's a TOE! I don't get it. Then comes the next request....
"Undress from the waist down, "
Or if you're really lucky,
"Ok, if you could please remove all your clothes...including your bra."
Now I guess most problems must be solved by the normal woman's menstrual cycle obviously including but not limited to:
Colds
Flus
Broken Bones
World Hunger and the like
I missed that day in school and I am MAD! If only I had known sooner!!
Well, again, I have grown so very tired of this and so I find myself being very inappropriate every time I have to go in for some very serious things and heaven help me if they are not serious.
While filling out a questionnaire it says, Name:_____________
What do you prefer to be called Name:_____________
I know all of the reasons for this, but seriously, it's the DR.'s Call me back is what I want, but still I manage to write "starfish" on every one.
If you do have to undress, what do we do? Undress very carefully, fold our clothes like they are being inspected by the Queen, and try to hide our underwear. Well, if you are like me, my bras are IMPOSSIBLE to hide. It looks like I've hidden a small animal in my purse or something.
How about when they ask
Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Soda?
Do you smoke?
Drink?
Hard Drugs?
Well, when they ask in that order, I have to answer yes to the last one and explain the others are just to bad for ya. Wanna try them in the other order, pal? They inevitably look up stunned while I nod and then sort of smile and I see the real concern..not for my health, but why I would ever question their methods. Well, I have plans for my next unanticipated visit, but until then, I know some of ya have been wanting some pictures sooo....Shoot, still can't get them up...they're coming.
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